Posted in inspiration, life, life experience, Self Improvement

Calm Is Power

Posted on by affirmationofvisions

There was a time when a week like this would have completely unraveled me. The kind of week filled with delays, complications, emotional moments, and unexpected stressors. The kind that would’ve sent my mind racing, my patience thinning, and my anxiety convincing me that everything was spiraling.

But this week didn’t do that to me.
And that alone feels like growth.

It wasn’t a perfect week. It wasn’t even a calm one on paper. Payroll had hiccups. Work had challenges. I received emotional news from someone I love. Traffic was heavy. The circumstances were there. The triggers were there. But my reaction was different. I was different.

Instead of reacting, I paused.
Instead of panicking, I observed.
Instead of forcing solutions, I trusted myself to find them.

When payroll became complicated, I didn’t collapse into stress. I stepped back. I adjusted. I reminded myself that problems don’t mean failure, they mean process. That calmness, patience, and the right questions always lead to clarity. And they did.

When I received emotional news, I didn’t absorb it as fear. I saw it as timing. As placement. As trust that everything unfolds exactly when and where it needs to. I didn’t take responsibility for fixing what wasn’t mine to fix.

And when work threw challenges at me again, I didn’t do what I normally would’ve done: no anger, no impulsive thoughts of escape, no “I need to change everything right now” mindset. I simply paused. And that pause held more power than any reaction ever has.

The most telling moment came quietly. Driving to work. No music. No noise. No thinking. Just awareness. I realized I had been fully present for almost half an hour without effort. My mind wasn’t solving, planning, worrying, or replaying. It was resting.

That’s when I understood something deeply:
Being present isn’t hard.
Anxiety is.

Anxiety convinces us we need to control, predict, and manipulate outcomes to survive. Calmness reminds us that most things resolve without force. That we don’t need to grip life so tightly.

This week, I also allowed myself to dream, but differently. Not from a place of dissatisfaction. Not from longing. But from curiosity and softness. I thought about companionship, about partnership, and how beautiful it is when two people can create space for each other’s growth. How powerful it is when someone doesn’t have to carry life alone.

I imagined teaching. Writing. Guiding kids through creativity, journaling, and expression. I saw myself thriving in something rooted in purpose and connection. And for the first time, those dreams didn’t create pressure. They didn’t make my present feel inadequate. I allowed them to visit… and then I let them go.

That’s new for me.

Because now, I understand that I don’t have to chase my future. I only have to meet my present. If something is meant for me, it will find me while I’m living honestly, doing my best, and staying open.

Journaling has quietly changed everything. Writing gratitude without reliving the chaos. Honoring what went right without magnifying what went wrong. Letting thoughts pass instead of trapping them in my nervous system.

My sleep is better.
My workouts feel stronger.
My reactions are softer.
My heart is lighter.

I wasn’t becoming more powerful by being intense.
I became powerful by becoming calm.

And that’s the version of me I’m learning to protect.

Posted in inspiration, life experience, Self Improvement, Uncategorized

Living With Intention: 24 Days In, and My Mind Is Quiet

Posted on by affirmationofvisions

I didn’t start this on January 1st.
I started on December 26th. Something in me knew I didn’t need a “new year” to begin. I just needed a decision.

My intention for 2026 was simple but not easy:
to stop living in my head and start living in the moment.

I have a habit of overthinking.
Replaying the past.
Worrying about the future.
Letting anxiety write stories about things that haven’t even happened yet. And when I really sit with that truth, most of my stress isn’t caused by real events. It’s caused by my thoughts about them. My reactions. My rushing. My fear of what might be.

Anxiety, when you break it down, is just future worry.
And peace lives in the present.

So I made a promise:
I would live each day with intention.
And I would write every single day for 365 days.

Not to vent.
Not to complain.
Not to immortalize chaos.

But to notice.
To reflect.
To be grateful.
To learn.

Every entry starts with gratitude. Usually something as simple as:
“Today was a good day because…”

Some days the list is long.
Some days it’s short.
Some days I’m honest enough to say:
“There isn’t much to report today. This was a quiet, ordinary day. And that’s okay.”

Because not every day is meant to be exciting. Some days are just meant to exist.

I also decided something else that felt powerful:
I wouldn’t name people.
I wouldn’t place blame.
I would write about experiences, lessons, and growth. Not wounds.

And every single entry ends the same way:

Living today with intention.
— Mercy

That line anchors me. It reminds me that the day is complete. That I showed up. That I was present.

Today is January 18th.
Which means I’ve been doing this for 24 days.

Twenty-four days of choosing not to make chaos permanent.
Twenty-four days of allowing frustration to pass instead of turning it into ink.
Twenty-four days of honoring the day as a gift, even when it wasn’t easy.

And here’s the most unexpected part:

My mind is quiet.

Today is Sunday. Normally, Sundays used to come with anxiety.
The “week is starting” stress.
The mental checklist.
The anticipation of everything waiting for me.

But today?
My mind is calm.

I have plans, yes.
But they’re a blueprint, not a prison.

I’ve learned that structure helps me stay grounded, but surrender is where magic lives. Some of my best days have been the ones that went completely off-plan. The days I let flow. The days I stopped forcing and started trusting.

Have all 24 days been perfect? Absolutely not.

There were days I caught mistakes.
Days I was aggravated at work.
Days I wanted to lose my patience entirely.

I complained. I reacted. I felt human.

But when I got home, I didn’t give those moments permanent residence in my journal. I let them pass through me instead of defining me. I refused to stain an entire day with one heavy moment.

That was the difference.

Living with intention doesn’t mean living without frustration.
It means choosing what deserves permanence.

And what I’ve discovered is this:
Peace isn’t something you find.
It’s something you protect.

This practice hasn’t “fixed” me. I wasn’t broken.
But it has softened me.
Quieted me.
Returned me to myself.

I’m excited to see what writing every day with gratitude, reflection, and hope will do over time.
If 24 days can bring this much clarity, I can only imagine what a year will bring.

Living with intention works.
Not because life becomes easier,
but because you become steadier.

And right now, that’s exactly what I needed.

Living today with intention.
— Mercy

Posted in ageism, aging, life, life experience

When Did I Stop Being the Cool Girl?

Posted on by affirmationofvisions

I don’t even know what this blog is about yet. I just know something has been sitting with me lately, and apparently my brain decided to work through it via a dream… involving chocolate pudding. So here we are.

I’ve always worked in places where people were my age or older, so age was never really a thing. It was just a number. But lately, I realized I’ve become one of the oldest people in the room. Not ancient. Not “where’s my walker” old. Just… the one with the most life experience. And somehow that hits different.

I don’t feel old. I don’t think I look old. But I can feel the shift. The quiet repositioning. The way younger people look at you less like a peer and more like a responsible adult. Like someone who probably has snacks in their purse and knows how to file taxes. The energy changes from “she’s cool” to “she’s safe.” Which is flattering… but also, excuse me, I’m still cool.

And no, this isn’t about wanting to go to happy hour or trying to relive my 20s. You couldn’t pay me to stay out past 9:30 on a weeknight. This isn’t about wanting to be young again. It’s about realizing that even when you still feel vibrant, funny, and slightly chaotic in the best way, the world starts putting you in a different box.

Part of this is probably because I had my kids young. I got married at 21 (which now feels like something that should’ve required a permission slip), had my first baby at 23, and my second before I turned 24. So now, at 45, I have a 20 and a 21-year-old. Full-grown humans. With beards. And when people find out I’m their mom, they’re shocked. Which should make me feel like I’m winning, right?

But then I stand in front of the mirror.

Suddenly I’m analyzing every wrinkle like I’m an FBI investigator. Counting grays like they’re trying to form a rebellion. Even though I’ve had gray hair since my 20s and survived just fine. Even though I know aging is biology, stress, genetics, and life doing what life does. Still… here I am, casually Googling Botox like it’s not a personality shift.

Not because I hate who I am.
But because I’m trying to locate myself again.

And then came the dream.

In it, I decided I was going to be extra sweet at work. No complaining. No irritation. Just calm, nurturing energy. So I was in the kitchen making chocolate pudding for everyone (because obviously that’s how maturity shows up), and someone joked, “Here’s the mommy of the group making us dessert.”

I woke up in actual tears.

Not because they were mean.
Not because it was offensive.
But because something inside me whispered,
“When did I stop being the cool girl?”

It used to be, “You’re 33? You’re a baby!”
Now it’s, “You’re 45? I never would’ve guessed.”
Which is technically a compliment… but also a reminder that 45 is now considered a shocking number.

And honestly, our generation looks good. We don’t look like 45 used to look. The Golden Girls were my age and they were already calling it a wrap. Meanwhile, we’re lifting weights, drinking protein shakes, and debating collagen powders. We’re aging… but make it modern.

So maybe this isn’t about wanting to be younger.
Maybe it’s about realizing that aging isn’t about losing beauty.
It’s about shifting identity.

You trade:

  • novelty for depth
  • chaos for clarity
  • being “the cool girl” for being the grounded one

And that’s powerful… even if it sometimes feels like,
“Wow, I became the mom of the group without even getting a ceremony.”

So if you’re in your 40s and you occasionally stare at the mirror wondering when this transition happened, just know you’re not alone. You didn’t lose your spark. You just upgraded it.

Still cool.
Just with better boundaries and probably better skincare.

Posted in life experience, Self Improvement

Everyone Should Record One Ugly-Cry Video (Trust Me)

Posted on by affirmationofvisions

I firmly believe everyone should record at least one ugly crying video during a personal crisis.

Let me be clear:
This is not for posting.
This is not for content.
This is not a “soft sad aesthetic with perfect lighting and a single tear.”

No. This is a full-blown, unfiltered, windshield-in-the-background, mascara-smudged, mouth-contorted, breathing-like-you-just-ran-a-marathon cry.

And the funniest part?
The setup.

Because in the middle of your emotional collapse, you still somehow think, “Let me prop my phone up real quick.”You’re adjusting angles, checking lighting, making sure your phone doesn’t fall, like, priorities. You’re in shambles, but still directing your own low-budget documentary.

I recorded one of these a while back. Totally forgot about it.
Fast forward to today: I’m cleaning up my phone, deleting old videos, feeling productive… and BAM.

There she is.

Me.
In my car.
Crying like an absolute idiot.
About being lonely.

I almost dropped my phone laughing.

First of all, there is nothing cute about crying. Anyone who says “crying can be beautiful” has never seen themselves mid-sob with their face doing things it has no business doing. My face looked like it was trying to escape my skull.

Second of all, the DRAMA.

I was watching it thinking, “Girl… if I could reach through this phone and slap you, I would.” The things I was crying over? The people? The situations? The absolute bare minimum I was begging for?

Embarrassing.
Historic levels of embarrassing.

What makes it even better is that now I’m out here writing blogs about how I can’t stand needy people. Meanwhile, past me was like, “Please love me” in surround sound. The irony is loud.

But here’s the thing: watching that video did something unexpected.

It reminded me that:

  1. Emotions are temporary. What feels like the end of the world today becomes comedy later.
  2. Growth is real. You don’t notice it while it’s happening, but playback does not lie.
  3. Humor is healing. Because honestly? That video deserves background music. Maybe a sad violin. Maybe something dramatic. Maybe a full voiceover just roasting myself.

I mean, journaling about my feelings is one thing. Writing about my wall? Fine. But physically watching myself cry like a jerk?

Top-tier comedy.
Five stars.
Highly recommend.

So no, don’t post it. Don’t share it. Don’t send it to friends.
Record it for you.

Because one day, future you is going to stumble across it, laugh until you snort, shake your head, and think, “Wow. Look at me now.”

And honestly?
That alone makes it worth pressing record. 😌

Posted in divorce, inspiration, life, life experience, love, Self Improvement

Practiced for Years, Perfected in 2025: A Full Circle Moment

Posted on by affirmationofvisions

As 2025 came to a close and 2026 began, we experienced something I never thought would fully come full circle, ending one year and beginning another together, peacefully, after years of putting our children first.

Over the years, my children’s father, their stepmom, and I have spent a lot of time together as a blended family. We’ve sat side by side at games, shared 2025 Father’s Day, celebrated milestones, and shown up when it mattered. There was never open conflict, but true emotional ease took time to develop, and if I’m being honest, there was a period where I showed up for my kids even when, internally, it didn’t feel completely comfortable yet. We did what needed to be done because it was right, even while peace was still growing.

For the first time ever, I rang in the New Year together, with my children’s father, their stepmom, their brothers, family friends, my children, and my own family, all in one place, on one night, under one roof.

What surprised me most wasn’t the gathering itself.
It was how calm it felt.

There was no anxiety. No discomfort. No feeling like I had to brace myself emotionally. I felt at home. I felt like I belonged, not just as a mother, but as part of the larger world my children live in.

As we were leaving that night, my youngest son, now 20 years old, said something I will never forget:

“Mom, today was great. This is the first New Year’s I can remember where I didn’t have to stop at midnight to call one of my parents.”

His father and I divorced when he was two, and his brother was three. Hearing that made me realize something profound: this moment wasn’t just about us, it was about years of choices finally coming full circle.

If there’s one thing my children’s father and I should truly be proud of, it’s this, we never used our kids against each other.

No matter what we were navigating personally, we always shared the important days. Holidays, birthdays, milestones, we made sure neither of us missed out. Our feelings never outweighed what was best for our children.

Was it always easy? Absolutely not.

There were moments early on when we couldn’t even look at each other. But even then, the common ground remained the same: the well-being of our kids came first.

I never spoke poorly about their father to them.
He never spoke poorly about me.

If there was a punishment in one house, it stood in the other. Respect didn’t change depending on which parent they were with. Our boys learned consistency, accountability, and respect, no matter where they were.

Looking back, I realize how rare that is.

So often, separation turns a child’s world into a battlefield. Adults get lost in their own pain, their own narratives, and forget how deeply children feel the tension, even when it’s unspoken.

I don’t believe people should stay together if they are unhappy. But I do believe that if you choose to part ways, you owe it to your children to make their world as peaceful as possible within your capacity.

I’m also grateful for the role my children’s stepmom has played. Stepping into a parenting role for children that aren’t biologically yours isn’t easy. I’m sure she has her own reflections, things she wishes she did differently and things she’s proud of. I know I do too.

There were times in my life when step-parent dynamics felt like a competition. But now, with my children grown and perspective gained, I see it clearly:

We all fit in their lives at the same time.
Each of us holds an important place.

No, this wasn’t the life I imagined when I was young. No one gets married expecting divorce or blended family complexities. But given the circumstances, I can honestly say, we did good.

And I’m grateful that 2025 ended in a way that felt like closure.

Because for the first time in their lives, my children welcomed a new year with both parents under the same roof, without animosity, without tension—just love, respect, and blended family togetherness that felt seamless.

That felt like peace.
And that felt like winning.